The hardest thing about being a quadriplegic father

Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.

When I broke my neck, my children were three, four, and  seven years old… It wasn’t the fact that I could no longer walk that was the hardest… Instead, it was not being able to toss my kids around and tickle them to death. It was Hearing my stepson say Dad I wish you could play tetherball with me. Dad I wish we could ride bikes. Dad I wish we could play hide and seek… it was being forced to sit back and watch them play at the park , it was no longer being able to provide for my family, it was having to sit there and watch my wife unload the groceries by herself, it was watching her mow the lawn by herself, it was no longer being able to pull my own weight as the man of the house. I’m a very old school genuine type of guy that believes as a man you should be the breadwinner and when your kids and wife need something you make sure they have it. When things need doing, you do them and make sure they get done. As a man you don’t get anything you want unless you know your kids and wife have what they need first. You’re their Rock and when you’re around they feel safe and protected. You open doors for your lady and you play the bad guy when your kids get in trouble and you stand up and protect your family at all cost.

It was really weird, when I broke my neck, the months following I literally watched my children’s Behavior change as they transitioned and learned that Dad can no longer take control. They started to bend the rules and push the limits. They started to act out and not listen. It took me several years to learn how to parent them again not being able to send them to their rooms or take things from them when they’re not listening. I hated it and I always felt bad after it but I went through a long period after the accident where I screamed and yelled and unfortunately that was the only way I could get my kids to listen to me. I’m not a religious person but I remember just praying to God to help me figure this out I don’t like to scream and yell. God please help me be a better parent. One thing’s for sure though slowly and surely I figured it out. Today I can absolutely say they really did turn out to be pretty outstanding children. I rarely yell anymore and I’m never upset for more than 5 minutes. When I do get upset I constantly tell myself to chill out, I watch what I say, and then let it cool down. After that I approach them and we talk about why I was upset and what they did wrong. I swear the older they get the more I love being a dad. You’ll never ever hear me say I need a break from my kids. I don’t even think they’ve ever been babysat by somebody. I always tell everybody I want my children to look at me like I’m their best friend. I want them to know they can come to me about anything. I want them to know that I’m not just going to freak out because they did something they should not have. I’m not raising children, I am raising adults. And in order for you to raise adults you need to act like an adult. You will only be respected as much as you respect everyone else including your children.

I hope this helps you look at things a little differently, maybe stop and think before you get upset with somebody. Maybe it gives you an idea on how to try a new technique or even just appreciate life more knowing someone else out there doesn’t get to do lots of things. I’m here to inspire people and maybe help a few people get through some tough times. It’s very easy to think life sucks being stuck in a wheelchair and yes at times it’s not the funnest but at the end of the day life can always be worse. I could be in a wheelchair fighting cancer or living under a bridge with no vehicle and no custody of my kids. I could keep going with different ways on how my life could be worse. To be fair I’m pretty lucky that the only problem I have is the inability to walk. Thank you all and have a wonderful day. Thanks for taking the time to read this and please share this blog with everybody you can as I’m trying to raise money to continue to pay for my complicated cares. As a quadriplegic I need help with everything including eating so the cost of care adds up. I would really like for this blog to start earning money because I would definitely rather earn the money on my own but If you are in a position to donate or you would like to donate I have also set up a GoFundMe

https://gofund.me/a13ceee4

I’m trying to reach $200,000. Yes I understand that seems like a lot however when you’re paying over $50,000 a year just in caregivers that makes out to be just shy of four more years. I hope to reach the $200,000 to give me enough time for my blog too hopefully blow up or the IT business my sister-in-law and I would like to start to take off. I’m trying everything I can to come up with this money on my own and anything you can help with is much appreciated. Even just sharing this blog is helping more than you know. Thanks again and remember… If donkeydidit… You can too!

If by chance my GoFundMe was the source that saved my house and I was able to start the business or my blog took off you can surely bet I would be paying it back every way I knew how, whether it be through donating on my own donating to research or to help find a cure for cancer if it’s a donation that saves us I will be a permanent donor when I develop my own income for sure. I am not going to just give up because somebody donated money and I don’t need to try anymore. Now that I have a Blog it is permanent and I want you all to know that I’m open honest and 100% real within my posts. I’m not a fake person and I do not give up.