Life as a quadriplegic and tips on how to make it easier 😉

What are your daily rituals? What does  your day look like?

When I wake up I have my caregiver get me dressed and then we use a Hoyer to get me into my wheelchair. If you are unfamiliar with what a Hoyer is it is almost identical to a cherry picker that you would use to pull the motor out of a car. The difference is it has a 4 Point connection system instead of just one hook and you hook a sling that cradles your body into it. It uses Hydraulics to lift you out of bed and gently lower you into your wheelchair or whatever you need. I recommend using a Hoyer because it will save your caregivers from having back problems.

Once you are in your wheelchair it is critical to check and make sure your cushion is inflated properly and is not too hard or soft. If you do not do this you are putting yourself at extremely high risk of getting pressure ulcers. Next you check everywhere for wrinkles in your clothing to make sure you’re not sitting on anything that may cause irritation. Once you are confident that your cushion is inflated properly, you don’t have any wrinkles, and you are properly positioned in your chair… Go ahead and go about your day.

If you suffer from muscle spasms like I did for so long… Don’t miss medication doses and make sure you drink tons and tons of water. Dehydration and missed doses are going to make the muscle spasms significantly worse. So make sure you are due diligent and paying attention to that. I had a severe case of spasms and nothing I could ever do got rid of them completely until I finally got a baclofen pump implanted in my abdomen with a catheter dripping medicine onto my spinal cord.

The next best piece of advice I can give you instead it is highly important for you to rely on your caregivers! Not your friends or family! Especially not your spouse! You need to make sure that you have quality time with your friends and family that does not involve taking care of you! I cannot stress this enough and is likely why I got a divorce. I had to learn the hard way and by the time I learned it was too late.

You will get bladder infections but, that doesn’t mean they need to be treated. Also let your urologist treat them not the ER doctor or your primary physician. You’re urologist knows best and that is what he specializes in, it is literally his job. Only treat them if you are having fairly serious symptoms. Bacteria in your bladder will learn how to fight against the antibiotics if you take them too much and they will not work.

Don’t be afraid to do things on your own. Things as small as going around the block by yourself or getting the door. It’s going to help you feel more independent and allow you to preserve your dignity. That means it’s okay to be alone for 20 minutes here and there or an hour, heck sometimes I spend two three four hours by myself. Just set yourself up so that you’re good for the allotted amount of time to make sure you’re not going to need anything. As long as somebody’s nearby then don’t be afraid to do it. Even if it’s just a phone call away. They don’t have to be in the next room, I promise… You’ll be okay, not only is it good for you it’s good for your relationships.

Last but not least, you need to understand that because you are in a wheelchair, especially a power wheelchair, people are going to look at you and instantly stereotype you. Nine times out of 10 they think you are mentally challenged just because you are in the chair. Don’t let it bother you though, remember you’re just a normal person, just as smart as everyone else, you just can’t walk. Help other people understand that so that you are not consistently stereotyped by strangers. I remember when I first broke my neck, I felt like people looked at me differently and I realized how I looked at people in a wheelchair before I broke my neck. I did it too. I think it kind of just comes naturally to some people. It’s just the natural way of thinking. Even though you are a kind gentle soul you accidentally put people into categories without even realizing it and you don’t realize it until you’re put in that position. So stop and think about that sometime. When you’re at the grocery store, the gas station, or even out to eat at a restaurant. It’s all going to be different but don’t worry you’ll get used to it and you always have the opportunity to approach somebody and help them understand why it is you are in the wheelchair.

Whatever you do don’t give up and enjoy your day ! Oh and Remember… If donkeydidit… You can too!

I am thankful!

I just wanted to let everyone know that I am thankful… Lately I have been super busy helping my brother, 2 of my sisters, and my ex-wife fix their vehicles. Completely for free by the way, to save the money and help them out rather than pay a shop $100 an hour. I know I should probably charge them something but what can I say, it’s family and I am a giver not a taker. We have been doing breaks, spark plugs, oil changes, a battery replacement, and even replaced a couple turn signal bulbs. So why am I thankful..?

I am thankful because, well for one, I am lucky enough to own the tools needed to do the work but I am also lucky enough to have been taught and retain the knowledge to do such work. It’s something I absolutely enjoy. My sisters Hyundai Santa Fe was parked for 11 months and nobody was able to fix it until I came along. I just didn’t really have time before and on top of that it was winter time. However, Being able to do that makes me feel good and all I had to do was look at the check engine codes. I instantly knew what was wrong and was able to fix it. I find it very satisfying and I am able to do all this as a quadriplegic in a wheelchair, just by simply talking people through the process and explaining every step and every detail. Another example, I was able to guide my ex-wife through the process of changing her front brakes on her Ford Edge the other day. Hell, I taught my sister how to replace the spark plugs on a 2015 Jeep Patriot. After that it was running like a top. Next we’ll be working on my mother’s Pontiac G6. It has been parked for a bit needs a tune-up and I need to identify the check engine light in order to move forward from there. I look forward to it!

Anyhow, if you have any questions or advice on being a better publisher… PLEASE, LET ME KNOW! Other than that have a wonderful day! Remember… If donkeydidit… You can too!

The job I wouldn’t mind doing for free

What job would you do for free?

I’d like to go back to the months right before my car accident when I was working on diesel semis I would be so happy. That is the one job I have had that I could totally do for free. I am constantly helping other people work on their own car and learn how to fix it themselves. It is my way of unwinding and relaxing. I just really really enjoy being a mechanic and working on cars and trucks. I really enjoyed working on the semis. I enjoyed learning everything, I enjoyed getting to drive them once in a while, and I enjoyed working on such big heavy equipment. It made you feel strong and smart. Strong because it’s big bulky and heavy and smart because it was broken and you fixed it.

Some days are hard for Uncle Donkey…

I’ve got a lot going on right now and sometimes it’s hard to even get out of bed. I really need to figure out a source of income and that’s a hard one especially as a quadriplegic with zero movement in his hands. I appreciate every one of you that’s following along. Without You nothing’s possible. All I can do is keep going one foot at time and think about my kids cuz they make me happy. One day at a time.

Thank you and don’t forget… If donkeydidit… You can too!

The hardest thing about being a quadriplegic father

Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.

When I broke my neck, my children were three, four, and  seven years old… It wasn’t the fact that I could no longer walk that was the hardest… Instead, it was not being able to toss my kids around and tickle them to death. It was Hearing my stepson say Dad I wish you could play tetherball with me. Dad I wish we could ride bikes. Dad I wish we could play hide and seek… it was being forced to sit back and watch them play at the park , it was no longer being able to provide for my family, it was having to sit there and watch my wife unload the groceries by herself, it was watching her mow the lawn by herself, it was no longer being able to pull my own weight as the man of the house. I’m a very old school genuine type of guy that believes as a man you should be the breadwinner and when your kids and wife need something you make sure they have it. When things need doing, you do them and make sure they get done. As a man you don’t get anything you want unless you know your kids and wife have what they need first. You’re their Rock and when you’re around they feel safe and protected. You open doors for your lady and you play the bad guy when your kids get in trouble and you stand up and protect your family at all cost.

It was really weird, when I broke my neck, the months following I literally watched my children’s Behavior change as they transitioned and learned that Dad can no longer take control. They started to bend the rules and push the limits. They started to act out and not listen. It took me several years to learn how to parent them again not being able to send them to their rooms or take things from them when they’re not listening. I hated it and I always felt bad after it but I went through a long period after the accident where I screamed and yelled and unfortunately that was the only way I could get my kids to listen to me. I’m not a religious person but I remember just praying to God to help me figure this out I don’t like to scream and yell. God please help me be a better parent. One thing’s for sure though slowly and surely I figured it out. Today I can absolutely say they really did turn out to be pretty outstanding children. I rarely yell anymore and I’m never upset for more than 5 minutes. When I do get upset I constantly tell myself to chill out, I watch what I say, and then let it cool down. After that I approach them and we talk about why I was upset and what they did wrong. I swear the older they get the more I love being a dad. You’ll never ever hear me say I need a break from my kids. I don’t even think they’ve ever been babysat by somebody. I always tell everybody I want my children to look at me like I’m their best friend. I want them to know they can come to me about anything. I want them to know that I’m not just going to freak out because they did something they should not have. I’m not raising children, I am raising adults. And in order for you to raise adults you need to act like an adult. You will only be respected as much as you respect everyone else including your children.

I hope this helps you look at things a little differently, maybe stop and think before you get upset with somebody. Maybe it gives you an idea on how to try a new technique or even just appreciate life more knowing someone else out there doesn’t get to do lots of things. I’m here to inspire people and maybe help a few people get through some tough times. It’s very easy to think life sucks being stuck in a wheelchair and yes at times it’s not the funnest but at the end of the day life can always be worse. I could be in a wheelchair fighting cancer or living under a bridge with no vehicle and no custody of my kids. I could keep going with different ways on how my life could be worse. To be fair I’m pretty lucky that the only problem I have is the inability to walk. Thank you all and have a wonderful day. Thanks for taking the time to read this and please share this blog with everybody you can as I’m trying to raise money to continue to pay for my complicated cares. As a quadriplegic I need help with everything including eating so the cost of care adds up. I would really like for this blog to start earning money because I would definitely rather earn the money on my own but If you are in a position to donate or you would like to donate I have also set up a GoFundMe

https://gofund.me/a13ceee4

I’m trying to reach $200,000. Yes I understand that seems like a lot however when you’re paying over $50,000 a year just in caregivers that makes out to be just shy of four more years. I hope to reach the $200,000 to give me enough time for my blog too hopefully blow up or the IT business my sister-in-law and I would like to start to take off. I’m trying everything I can to come up with this money on my own and anything you can help with is much appreciated. Even just sharing this blog is helping more than you know. Thanks again and remember… If donkeydidit… You can too!

If by chance my GoFundMe was the source that saved my house and I was able to start the business or my blog took off you can surely bet I would be paying it back every way I knew how, whether it be through donating on my own donating to research or to help find a cure for cancer if it’s a donation that saves us I will be a permanent donor when I develop my own income for sure. I am not going to just give up because somebody donated money and I don’t need to try anymore. Now that I have a Blog it is permanent and I want you all to know that I’m open honest and 100% real within my posts. I’m not a fake person and I do not give up.

A Donkey sized THANK YOU and an update as well…

To start off I would like to say thank you to all of my viewers, subscribers, and followers! If it wasn’t for you I would not have come this far in the amount of time I have and I would not be nearly as motivated to publish as often as I do. Since my first blog post right about February 7th 2024 I have had over 5,500 views and it has motivated me to post over 100 times. If you recall, when I set this website/blog up, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and I had never done anything like this  before. Everything you see before your eyes has been self-taught within the last 3 months. I feel like I have come a long ways.

That being said though, I would still love to learn how to post adds and become an affiliate marketing professional. I need help doing that though and I struggle to figure it out on my own. So if you know how and are willing to teach me please shoot me an email or comment on one of my posts. I am willing to take any advice you are willing to share, even the littlest bits will not go unheard. I would also be very appreciative! Unfortunately, it takes money to make money and I still have not been able to come up with an alternative income to stop me from having to sell our house in order to pay for my cares.

If I could somehow get a business loan or something, I could pay for the training and software needed to alleviate the issue. If you have any ideas on what else I could do to resolve my issue, anything at all, please get in touch with me ASAP! I am all ears! Thank you

My daughters deep belly laugh and I get a good laugh out of people getting startled.

What makes you laugh?

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When my daughter has a really deep belly laugh, you know one of the ones that come from way down in your toes and only happen a few times a year. I find it so hilarious because her whole sound and demeanor changes. I don’t even have to be in the same room with her I can hear her laugh and it makes me laugh.

Other than that though, for some reason I find it funny when one of my friends or loved ones gets startled and jumps. I’m talking about when somebody suddenly walks in the room and they stop what they’re doing or just straight up shouting and becoming startled and jump over that. For some reason it’s just fun to me even though I can’t stand being startled myself lol.

What about you? Hey hey now, don’t forget… If donkeydidit… You can too!

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Ford, Chevrolet, or Dodge?

When it comes to a truck, what would you prefer? A Ford a Chevy or a dodge? For me personally I would have to go with either a Chevy or a Dodge and I will tell you why.

The reason I would pick a Chevy truck is because they just look real good and nothing beats that Allison Transmission paired up to that Duramax engine. When you need the power of a diesel but want something quiet comfortable and reliable, it’s a win-win.

Now don’t get me wrong, Ford’s got it pretty figured out when it comes to their diesel trucks these days. That being said though I just don’t like the way they look and they are super complicated. There are some features on the Ford diesel trucks that I wouldn’t mind on a Chevy or a Dodge but again Ford is just not for me.

Dodge trucks are probably My overall favorite. Why you might ask? Well, to me, you just can’t beat the way they look and sound. They look absolutely intimidating and you can’t beat the strength and sound of that Cummins diesel motor. Clickety clack clickety clack! I love the way Dodge diesel trucks sound! Plus with the right maintenance and care you can get a million miles out of them, or more.

Don’t get me wrong there is a Ford that I like and that would be the OEM square body Diesel Powerstroke, the mid-90s model, 1995 to be exact. I love the way that turbo whistle comes out of the exhaust as loud as it does. Those old Power Stroke sounded so good!

Well those are my thoughts on trucks, how do you feel about Ford Chevy and Dodge trucks? What would you prefer and why?

Keep your chin up and stay positive. It could always get worse. Trust me… If donkeydidit… You can too!

How to change a catheter…

Things you will need=

*New replacement catheter of the appropriate size

*50ml syringe

*2 10ml syringe

*Sterile lube

*some kind of wound cleaner

*a draining basin

*new bottle of sterile water

*a stat lock

*split gauze

*some form of medical tape

*urine bag/Foley bag

Step One= Use the 50ml syringe to collect 30ml of sterile water from the sterile water container.

Step Two= Carefully and slowly inject the 30ml of sterile water that’s in the 50ml  syringe through the pre existing catheter into the bladder. This is important because when you go to insert the new catheter you will get a fluid return. This reassures you that the catheter is positioned correctly within the bladder rather than in the abdominal wall or urethra.

Step Three= Use the 10ml syringe to deflate the balloon or remove the sterile water from the catheter you are replacing, the catheter that is already in the body before you attempt to remove it.

Step Four= Lube the tip of your new catheter before you attempt to insert it into the bladder. It will save a lot of pain.

Step Five= Slowly remove the pre-existing catheter from the bladder by gently applying pressure. It should come out fairly easy. If it seems like it’s taking too much effort or is too painful, stop to make sure you’ve done every step.

Step Six= Once you have removed the old catheter, use your cleaning solution to quickly but vigorously clean the area.

Step Seven= Once the area is clean and the old catheter has been removed, go ahead and slowly insert the new lubricated catheter. Insert it about 3 or 4 inches (a little more or a little less depending on what type of catheter, penile, vaginal, or supra public) and then grab the draining basin. Hold the other end of the catheter down below the bladder as low as you can get it. If you are in the right spot you will get a little bit of fluid return into your draining basin. If you are not getting anything to return through your catheter slowly push it in or pull it out making minor adjustments until you get some fluid return into your basin.

Step Eight= Once you have gotten some fluid return, it’s comfortable, and you are sure the catheter is in the right position, grab the unused 10ml syringe an fill it with sterile water.

Step Nine= You will notice the end of your catheter sort of looks like a Y. Connect your 10ml syringe full of sterile water to the skinny side of your catheter and slowly start to inject the sterile water. This inflates the balloon that holds the catheter in your body. (Some catheter stabilization balloons take more than 10ml, but from what I can tell from my 11 years of experience, most only take 10ml. If you have questions contact your supplier). Once you have completed this step gently pull back on the catheter making sure it’s seated against the bladder wall.

Step Ten= Carefully connect the big/fat side of your catheter to the end of your urinal bag.

Step Eleven= Apply a stat lock to your inner thigh, then connect your urine bag and catheter to it for added security against pulling and ripping.

Step Twelve= Clean the catheter site again and then apply a piece of split gauze (homemade works too) and tape to the site to prevent unnecessary infection and keep any drainage off your clothes.

I hope I was able to help and you were able to benefit in some way from this post. Make sure you subscribe and follow along because I will be posting more stuff like this as well! Always remember to be thankful and never forget that life could be worse! I promise you… If donkeydidit… You can too!

#thatquadlife

#donkeydidit

Spring weather in Idaho is amazing!

I have just been loving the spring weather lately! I am super thankful it’s finally nice outside again. It’s incredible. Feeling the warm sun on your bare skin just gently keeping you warm but not hot. Allowing you to enjoy more time Outdoors without needing to go warm up or cool off. Flowers in full bloom and the sound of the birds. If you sit back and observe you realize that so much is going on… Honey bees pollinating flowers, birds building nests, squirrels gathering food, and all of us people buzzing about.

I was on bed rest from August 8th 2023 to January 8th 2024, exactly 5 months. All because the stupid cushion on my wheelchair went flat and I didn’t know it. This resulted in a stage 4 pressure ulcer that was approximately 6cm long by 5cm wide by 4cm deep. To give you an idea, if you cut a tennis ball in half you could have fit it in my sore. According to the doctor I should not have been able to heal it without surgery or hospitalization and I shouldn’t have been able to do it so quickly. He said it should have taken at least a year. I told the doctor I can’t be hospitalized I can’t do surgery I have two kids at home that need me. That being said though I have incredible self-discipline. As soon as I discovered the sore I put myself on bed rest and I started taking in tons of extra nutrients and eating 90 grams of protein a day as well as taking collagen supplements. I have to say though as well, I’m super thankful for my sister and her girlfriend, if it wasn’t for them I don’t think it would have been possible. They helped me out so much. So now that you know all that I’m sure you can imagine how thankful and excited I am for the warm weather and being able to get out. This all reminds me…

Whether we are out playing with our pets, taking our kids to the park, out on a walk, or at work… We struggle to remember to stop, soak everything in, and remember to be thankful. You can’t succeed or have success in life if you don’t first remember to stop and be thankful for what you already have. I’m talking about the good and the bad. Being thankful for the good times because they’re easy and the bad times because, though they were hard, they taught you a lesson and made you grow.

I can’t wait for the spring to fade into summer… All the swimming and late night walks. Barbecues and fires in the fire pit. Mountain hikes and fireworks on the 4th of July. Long scenic drives with amazing views and going to the car wash because the weather is nice. Beautiful sunny days with 100° temperatures and the occasional cool but intense thunderstorm. With the wind and the lightning so mesmerizing.

I hope you are as excited and grateful for the spring and summer as I am. It’s going to be great. It’s easier to be positive and wake up happy in the morning instead of struggle to give yourself a reason to put a smile on your face and go about your day. For now I wish you nothing but the best and don’t ever forget… If donkeydidit… You can too!

#donkeydidit

#thatquadlife

Broke my big toe

I woke up this morning and noticed my right foot was swollen. By the time I got into my wheelchair it looked like the swelling had gone down quite a bit. Double checked it this evening and it was significantly larger than my other foot so I decided to go to the hospital.

The ER doc didn’t seem to be worried about it but had an ultrasound and an X-ray done to make sure there was no blood clots or broken bones. He said that the good news is there’s no blood clots but that my big toe bone was broken in half.

I don’t know what I did but I must have jammed my toe into something while cruising along in my wheelchair. Doctor ordered me to wear compression socks and keep my right leg elevated. Other than that all was well.

Thank you for your time reading my blog post and remember… If donkeydidit… You can too!

How hard I have been working on my blog/website

What’s something most people don’t understand?

Thank you to everyone that has viewed my blog! You are the reason I Have been busting my butt on this blog. Everything you see on my site I created, published, and put together on my own. Everything from the layout to the colors, the theme and the content minus the daily prompts. I only answer those of course. I didn’t know how to do any of this when I started. Everything you see is completely 100% self-taught, published and designed by Uncle donkey himself.

This is my 100th post and I have over 5100 views. (Thanks everyone!) Plus I finally created a decent menu on the homepage. At least I think so anyway.

I have reached the point where I look forward to working on my blog everyday now. I hope to learn how to turn it into an income stream because I desperately need to earn more money in order to pay for my cares as a quadriplegic.

I usually spend between 4 and 8 hours a day doing nothing but publishing and researching how to accomplish things on my blog / website. It seems like it’s taking me forever but I guess not. I’ve only been doing this since about the 12th of February 2024 and I’ve already passed 5,000 views and 100 posts with 6 different pages. So I guess I’m actually killing it so far. So thank you everybody it means more than you know.

Please let me know down in the comments what you like or what you would like to know? Hell, shoot me an email at donkey@uncledonkeystales.com I want to know what you guys think. I’m genuinely curious what you want to know more of, what I should stop talking about, and what I should start talking about? Am I entertaining enough as it is or do I need to find a subject and stick with it?

Let me know and If donkeydidit… You can too!

A basket ball player!

When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up?

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I don’t know if I was quite 5 years old but I was awfully close. I was always playing basketball and one of my favorite things to do was backwards over the head shots.

I can remember a time when I was with my parents somewhere on the west coast. We were at one of the military bases visiting my uncle and I specifically remember giant airplanes. I remember just being mesmerized by them.

If it’s funny but I remember just winging the basketball backwards over my head. I actually made it from like half court at almost 5 years old Haha. 

Other than that basketball moment some young memories I have are… Growing up everybody always told me I had a great arm. From the time I was little till the time I was big. I impressed people with my ability to throw a ball. Not just fast but far too… I was constantly playing wall ball and different forms of baseball here and there. I loved to see how far, how fast, or how accurate I could throw the ball. I even spent some time as a Little League pitcher.

Anyhow hope you enjoyed the daily read, let me know if I can make anything better. Other than that don’t question the fact that, if donkeydidit… You can too!